I have been struggling with drawing for about two years now. I don't know what has happened. Have I grown up?

Actually, I think that as a kid, I enjoyed drawing because I, myself, could create something pretty, and now... I think sometimes I draw because some people expect me to create something pretty. Both the people here in dA, and the people in my real life, they know that I'm artistic in some way, and they expect me to draw and paint. I have always been the kind of person who meets the expectations others set for me. And I actually like that, I like it when I can be or do something the others expected of me.

I did a journal some time ago asking whether I should stop drawing or not. I got all kinds of answers, most of them really good and versatile. I have been wondering some time now, what drawing actually gives me. It doesn't give the same pleasure what it gave when I was a kid. I am not anymore so fond of receiving comments saying they like my works. I appreciate comments that criticise my work or elaborately tell what is good in them. And I haven't really had any progress either, because I draw so rarely these days, so the criticism is given perhaps a little bit in vain.

But I always wonder why do I keep drawing, no matter how rarely it is. Does drawing or painting give me some kind of satisfaction after all?

I never wanted drawing or painting or art to be part of my profession, so I don't need to get better at it for that reason either.

Why do I draw? I don't really enjoy it. I don't get my living from it. I don't draw for other people either.